Sunday Will Come

On September 11, 2006, my husband and I buried our twin boys that were born just 4 days prior.  I went into labor at just 20 weeks gestation and despite major efforts to stop it, I delivered my sweet little 11 and 12 ounce baby boys.  I'll elaborate on all the details for those who are wondering in a later post.... but my reason is for bringing this up is because this was probably the lowest I have ever felt.  No word describes my feeling better than SAD.  Just sad.  I was so ready to be a mom and to do the "mom thing".  We had gotten pregnant on purpose. I had spent 20 weeks living as carefully as possible to ensure the safety of my two little ones.  I had already talked to my boss and made plans to quit my job the following month.  We had purchased two cribs, two bouncers and a handful of outfits because we knew I probably wouldn't be able to be out shopping later in the pregnancy.  I was ready.  I had looked forward to being a mom for as long as I could remember.  That's what I was here for!  But in a matter of hours, that was all taken away from me.  I was stripped of that opportunity and instead had a sign hanging on my hospital door that said something to the effect of "please be quiet, we are mourning" with a picture of raindrops on it.  I was heartbroken to say the least.

The next few days, weeks and months were HARD.  No one really plans on stopping at the mortuary to pick out a casket on the way home from the hospital after just having a baby.  It was one of those times where we did what we had to do because we needed to do it.  Looking back it almost seems surreal.  We just plugged along, one step at a time.  I would wake up each morning and cry.  I'd cry for what could have been and cry for what little I knew about my two angels.  We had held them for their entire life which lasted a mere 15 minutes.  I longed to know what all their "favorites" were.  I wished I knew how to miss them better.  But, oh how I missed them!  Their spirits were so strong!  I could feel them with me.  And I knew they were okay.  That was confirmed to me in a very tender moment that my Heavenly Father knew I needed.  They were where they were supposed to be but OH HOW IT HURT!  My arms were empty and my heart ached for them.

Just a month after they were born, my husband and I were watching the October 2006 session of General Conference in our much too quiet house.  Have you ever had a time where you hear something that you feel like was sent from our Father straight for you?  Well this was one of those for me!  Joseph B. Wirthlin got up and delivered the most beautiful talk I had ever heard.  He spoke of the Friday when our Savior was humiliated, betrayed, spit upon and crucified.  He spoke of the absolute devastation that enveloped the Earth that day.  He said, "I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world's history, that Friday was the darkest."  And then he continued with the message that has changed my life....

"But the doom of that day did not endure.

The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death.  He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.

And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried.  The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.

Each of us will have our own Fridays -- those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces.  We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again.  We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death -- Sunday will come.  In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.

No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come.  In this life or the next, Sunday will come."

I'm sure you can imagine that to say I was "in tears" would have been the understatement of the century.  I knew he was right and his his message penetrated deep into my soul.  Whether speaking literally of the great sorrow that comes from being separated from those we love most or when referring to a tumultuous trial that seems impossible to bear, it is the same... Sunday will come.  Deliverance will come.  Christ will come again.  Our loved ones will be resurrected.  We will feel relief from our pain.  Our load will lighten.  Our heartache will evaporate.  Our Savior will take us in His open arms and tell us He loves us and is proud of us.  We will feel joy again.  Joy.  That's why we're here!  "Men are that they might have JOY!"

I love to celebrate Easter and the absolutely AWESOME blessing it is that our Savior broke the bands of death and suffered the atonement so that we can all have relief from the pain that this life will surely bring.  I love Him and I need Him and I am eternally grateful for Him.

Each year, to celebrate, we hold a "special session", if you will, of Family Home Evening.  The Easter Bunny visits our house on Friday night so our kids get to enjoy their bubbles, sidewalk chalk and other goodies he leaves for them on Saturday.  These are their baskets for this year....

I'm super excited.  They turned out so cute thanks to my cute sister-in-law! So fun!!  We do the BBQs, the Easter Egg Hunts and savor all the family time.

Then Sunday is reserved for celebration of our Savior.  We have an activity that our kids love  - our daughter asks for it again and again - that goes over the events of the Savior's last days and resurrection.  (This is the special Sunday morning session of FHE).  They love to hear the story and to help us tell it.  I'm sure many of you have something similar you like to do.  I'll include the version of the story I use below for those of you that would like to use it.  It comes with scripture references and pictures you can use from the Gospel Art Kit.  This year I also got them each a picture of Christ with a young child for their bedrooms that will be waiting on the kitchen table Sunday morning for them along with an empty egg to remind them of why we are celebrating.  Easter is an amazing day where we get to really focus on the Savior and feel the spirit - and it doesn't have all the hustle and bustle or near the bill that comes with Christmas!  

So - all my love to you as you celebrate Easter this year.  We have a Savior that lives and loves you and will deliver you from all your pain and trials no matter what they may be.  I know it.  He's done it with me time and time again and I'm sure I'm not done yet.  Happy Easter!

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EASTER IN EGGS

(optional:  the item in parantheses goes in a numbered egg  or can be used on its own as a visual aid for each scripture)

(*picture found in old Gospel Art Kit, **picture found in the new Gospel Art Book)

1. And He went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, "O my Father, it it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.  -Matt 26:39 (sacrament cup) (pictures #227* or #56**)
2. Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priests, and said unto them, "What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you?" And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver.  -Matt 26:14-15 (3 silver sequins or dimes) (picture #228*)
3. When morning was come all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death; And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor.  -Matt. 27:1-2 (knotted twine) (picture OQ178 from the library)
4. When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, "I am innocent of the blood of this just person:  see ye to it."  Then answered all the people, and said, "His blood be on us, and on our children."  Then released he Barabbas unto them:  and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.  -Matt. 27:24-26 (chunk of hand soap)
5. And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe.  And when they had plaited a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand:  and they bowed the knee before Him, and mocked Him, saying "Hail, King of the Jews!" And they spit upon Him, and took the reed, and smote Him on the head.  -Matt. 27:28-30 (picture of Jesus with crown of thorns on his head) (red fabric)
6. And after that they had mocked Him, they took the robe off from Him and put his own raiment on Him, and led him away to crucify Him.  And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name:  him they compelled to bear His cross.  -Matt 27:31-32.  And He was crucified...nailed to the cross.  (tiny nail and/or cross made from toothpicks) (picture #230* or #57**)
7. And they crucified Him, and parted his garments, casting lots:  that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet...And sitting down they watched Him there.  -Matt 27:35-36  (small pair of dice) (picture #230*)
8. Jesus, when He had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.  And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;...Now when the centurion, and they that were with him watching Jesus, saw the earthquake and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, "Truly, this was the Son of God."  -Matt 27:50-51, 54 (tiny bag of crushed rocks or potting soil) (picture #230*)
9. Then Joseph, a rich man went to Pilate and begged the body of Jesus.  Then Pilate commanded the body be delivered.  And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn out in the rock.  -Matt 27:58-60 (strip of white cloth) (picture #231* or #58**)
10. And he rolled a great stone to the door of the sepulcher, and departed.  Pilate said unto them the chief priests and Pharisees, "Ye have a watch:  go your way and make it sure as ye can."  So they went, and made the sepulcher sure, sealing the stone and setting a watch.  -Matt 27:60, 65-66 (a small stone) (picture #232*)
11. And when the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary, the mother of James, and Salome, had brought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint Him.  And, behold, there was a great earthquake; for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.  And the angel...said unto the women, "Fear not ye; for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. -Mark 16:1, Matt. 28:2-5 (bay leaf or other herbs) (picture #231 & 232* or #59**)
12. He is not here:  for He is risen, as He said.  -Matt 28:6 (empty) (picture #239* or #60**)