3 Confidence Boosters for Kids

I had a funny experience not long ago with my almost-6-year-old daughter.  She was helping me clean the bathroom by scrubbing the toilet.  I stepped out of the room for a few minutes and she soon called for me to come watch her clean the toilet.  I told her that I knew she could do it and her response was, "but you need to come see if I'm doing it right."  The thing that really stood out to me was that she didn't trust herself to complete the job in a way that would satisfy me. She has been helping me clean toilets for a couple years now and I know that she knows how to clean a toilet just fine.  And in all reality, even if she doesn't scrub it exactly how I would or happens to miss a few spots, I'm completely okay with that.  The fact that she's trying and learning how to help around the house is what's important to me.  But, unfortunately, I had failed in communicating that to her.  This caused me to reflect on how I talk to my kids and helped me come up with 3 phrases that I realized they need to hear a lot more often!

 

#1 -- I trust you.

It's incredibly empowering to know that someone you respect trusts you.  Kids are constantly seeking approval from us as their parents and they need to know that we trust them.  It's crucial to their confidence.  I'm not going to pretend that their judgement is always where it should be - I think we all have a plethora of stories from our kids to back that up!  But, it takes courage to act for ourselves and make our own decisions.  And since that's basically the whole point of being here on the Earth - we need to learn to do it - and do it well!  One of the hardest parts of being a parent is allowing our children to make their own decisions - knowing they won't always do the right thing.  Can you imagine how our Father in Heaven feels watching all his children make mistakes over and over again?!  I mean really, some of the things we do are real doozies!  Yet, he knew that was going to be best for us.  He trusts us.  Even though we make mistakes.  Talk about a good example!  Knowing that He trusts me makes me want to choose well and act responsibly - which in turn helps me feel good.  Back to our kids..... knowing we trust them and that we have their back no matter what will give them the courage they need to act and to not be afraid of making mistakes.  That's part of the journey.  But they don't know it unless we tell them.  Tell them, I trust you.

#2 -- Good idea.

This goes hand in hand with #1.  We need to affirm their ideas when they do come up with them on their own.  I want my kids to feel comfortable coming up with their own ideas.  Let's be honest... some of them are going to be less than stellar.  But, it's important that they dare to express their ideas.  That's how the good ones make their way out.  I've noticed a huge change in my kids since I've made a point to say "good thinking" and "great idea" more often.  They are proud of themselves for simple things - which is where it starts.  Tell them "good idea" when they tell you what they're going to play, what they want to eat for breakfast, what they want to give someone for a birthday present, what they'd like to do as a family, etc.  It's amazing the way their creative little brains work and I love seeing a glimpse of that when they have the courage to express their ideas!

#3 -- Thank you.

It feels great to feel appreciated.  That goes for our kids too.  I think sometimes we focus on all we do for them and don't realize all they do for us.  I can't imagine life without my munchkins.  Yes, there are the little things like changing out the garbage bags in the bathrooms, helping set the table, folding the socks, etc.  But they help me learn patience and empathy, make me feel needed, and have given me millions of amazing memories.  They need to feel appreciated too.  Everyone does.  So for the little things, and the big things, tell them thank you.  It also teaches them to recognize things they are grateful for and to express their gratitude more often.

Sometimes it's the littlest things that can make the biggest differences!!